Money: Need It

Money is perhaps one of the aspects of life that usually leads me to disparity. No matter how much I have, I tend to want to keep as much of it for myself. I love to spend it though; however, after spending it I experience extreme bouts of solitude and depression. There is something about logging online and seeing that you have spent in excess of fifty dollars in one sitting that takes me aback and leaves me in a state of shock. Usually though I can escape these bouts.

Ultimately, though, I do tend to be the person least likely to spend money it seems. Well I am not known in terms of spending money, but rather in terms of spending money on other people. Sure, I do tend to give stuff to people but overall I do it either with truly good intentions or grudgingly. I expect something in return if I spend money. Sadly, with the world that we live in, it seems that there is no real hope in people being able to repay you back for what you give to them. Therefore, I have come to learn that if you do buy something for someone or spend money on him or her, do not expect it back.

It is hard to give without having this secondary thought in your heart. Deep down, I believe that I continue to expect people to repay me back. It is a hard feeling to ignore. Sure, I can suppress it but after awhile it just becomes too much as I continue to look and be with whomever I gave something too. The worst feeling seems to happen whenever I give something to someone and then act as if it was never received to him or her or expect even more. Is it so hard to just say thank you and be grateful, is it! Please just say it once or something!

Regardless, I do tend to give too much to people. I dislike seeing people in a state of wanting. It is a horrible site just to see people wanting stuff...

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Now playing: Hannah Montana - We Got the Party
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The NEW Deal: Revoked

I will actually have to sit down and redraw the ideas for the New Deal for this year. Hopefully by the end of this week we will have one fully created and laid out. This plan will also call for a weekly plan, a weekly analysis of events and revelations, and a weekly "Sunday" confession post as well as a post about what we hope to improve and achieve in the near future. My current plan was not in line with that of religious orientation and was unfortunately a bit too "nefarious" and "wicked", if I must say so myself. Ultimately, it only revealed one of my ulterior motives of harboring dark emotions and carrying out darkened deeds and desires.

The NEW Deal

I have began to create the new outlook for next year. In sum, I plan to adopt a more self-centered outlook in which I go beyond the self, if and only if I feel morally obligated to the person or task at hand.

This new outlook consists of several features. First I will continue to engage in reduced extra-personal contact. Second I will strive to not go beyond any of my current circle of friends. Third, I will continue and increase the range of difference between my actual and online personality. Fourth, I will attempt to maintain an attitude in which I do not express any emotion. Fifth, I will attempt to continue to appear distant. Sixth, I will strive to hide my true motives when with others. Seventh, I will strive to remain one step ahead. Eight, I will continue to thrive in and strengthen my complex web of half truths and tall tales. Finally I will attempt engage in revealing thoughts or discussing thoughts to key individuals, pending the issue at hand.

This plan is to be carried out in detail at the start of the new year. It is with great joy to know that this year will be one in which the inherently evil nature of people will be seen along with their response.

The Overview

Well it seems that I was able to finally get this mobile blogging figured out. I think it is going to be quite a fun way to blog. Who knows what new ways and heights could be done in doing it this way.

The reason as to why I am doing this is to really spend time gathering and unveiling my thoughts. Oftentimes, when I put the pen to the paper I am able to release quite a bit of my built up emotions. Usually people do this by talking to friends. Sadly, in this world we live in there are not many people that can be entrusted with your most personal and secret issues. In fact, nearly everyone has a covert and ulterior plan that is fueled by the precious information that they gain from their family and friends. Virtually, we are now left in a state in which we must work and sort our own issues in private solitude.

Most interesting I resort to the use of both methods--a sort of comglomeration. To wrap this up, it is my goal to provide a perspective on my life as if I am a reporter.

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Now playing: Ashley Tisdale - Be Good To Me
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