Money: Need It

Money is perhaps one of the aspects of life that usually leads me to disparity. No matter how much I have, I tend to want to keep as much of it for myself. I love to spend it though; however, after spending it I experience extreme bouts of solitude and depression. There is something about logging online and seeing that you have spent in excess of fifty dollars in one sitting that takes me aback and leaves me in a state of shock. Usually though I can escape these bouts.

Ultimately, though, I do tend to be the person least likely to spend money it seems. Well I am not known in terms of spending money, but rather in terms of spending money on other people. Sure, I do tend to give stuff to people but overall I do it either with truly good intentions or grudgingly. I expect something in return if I spend money. Sadly, with the world that we live in, it seems that there is no real hope in people being able to repay you back for what you give to them. Therefore, I have come to learn that if you do buy something for someone or spend money on him or her, do not expect it back.

It is hard to give without having this secondary thought in your heart. Deep down, I believe that I continue to expect people to repay me back. It is a hard feeling to ignore. Sure, I can suppress it but after awhile it just becomes too much as I continue to look and be with whomever I gave something too. The worst feeling seems to happen whenever I give something to someone and then act as if it was never received to him or her or expect even more. Is it so hard to just say thank you and be grateful, is it! Please just say it once or something!

Regardless, I do tend to give too much to people. I dislike seeing people in a state of wanting. It is a horrible site just to see people wanting stuff...

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Now playing: Hannah Montana - We Got the Party
via FoxyTunes

The NEW Deal: Revoked

I will actually have to sit down and redraw the ideas for the New Deal for this year. Hopefully by the end of this week we will have one fully created and laid out. This plan will also call for a weekly plan, a weekly analysis of events and revelations, and a weekly "Sunday" confession post as well as a post about what we hope to improve and achieve in the near future. My current plan was not in line with that of religious orientation and was unfortunately a bit too "nefarious" and "wicked", if I must say so myself. Ultimately, it only revealed one of my ulterior motives of harboring dark emotions and carrying out darkened deeds and desires.